May
28

How Being a Stay at Home Mom Hurt My Kids

A working at home mom might be beneficial in some areas where you can still take care of your kids and your home. However it also has disadvantages that we should be aware of. Learn how to avoid this and learn some of the mistakes caused by my stay-at-home life.

Let me say from the start that I’m not throwing stones at other’s choices. I’ve been a player in the unavoidable mommy wars for long enough to know that every choice has benefits and drawbacks. It’s hard to be a stay-at-home mom. It’s hard to be a working mom. It’s double the trouble, none of the fun to be a work-from-home mom. This is not a “grass is always greener” post. This is also not a post about regret. I don’t regret the time that I spent staying home. Those were some of the greatest days of my life. But I also have enough distance from those days to see some of the mistakes that seemed to be built into my stay-at-home life.

(C) Birthandbeyondmagazine.com

(C) Birthandbeyondmagazine.com

My kids became lazy and overly dependent.

I heard it said once that a mother is the sun around which her children revolve like planets. While that’s an idyllic word picture, the sun never gets to take a day off without major planetary consequences. One day without the sun would result in people freezing to death followed by cataclysmic destruction as celestial bodies without gravity crash into one another. That scene is precisely what was happening at my house anytime I dared to be anything but fully present. In my stay-at-home role, I allowed myself to become too valuable and far too central to the success of the home and my children.

While every mother wants to be needed, you can quickly reach a point of diminishing returns. I reached that point somewhere between realizing that my children had never cleaned a bathroom and realizing that they couldn’t match their own socks. I had been doing those things for them—usually with the purist intentions of love and sacrifice—because I had plenty of time to devote to such things. In return, they had been living a life of luxury and were drastically missing age-appropriate skills.

Read more:  http://www.parenting.com/family-time/work/how-being-stay-home-mom-hurt-my-kids

 

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