How Being a Stay at Home Mom Hurt My Kids

A working at home mom might be beneficial in some areas where you can still take care of your kids and your home. However it also has disadvantages that we should be aware of. Learn how to avoid this and learn some of the mistakes caused by my stay-at-home life.

Let me say from the start that I’m not throwing stones at other’s choices. I’ve been a player in the unavoidable mommy wars for long enough to know that every choice has benefits and drawbacks. It’s hard to be a stay-at-home mom. It’s hard to be a working mom. It’s double the trouble, none of the fun to be a work-from-home mom. This is not a “grass is always greener” post. This is also not a post about regret. I don’t regret the time that I spent staying home. Those were some of the greatest days of my life. But I also have enough distance from those days to see some of the mistakes that seemed to be built into my stay-at-home life.



My kids became lazy and overly dependent.

I heard it said once that a mother is the sun around which her children revolve like planets. While that’s an idyllic word picture, the sun never gets to take a day off without major planetary consequences. One day without the sun would result in people freezing to death followed by cataclysmic destruction as celestial bodies without gravity crash into one another. That scene is precisely what was happening at my house anytime I dared to be anything but fully present. In my stay-at-home role, I allowed myself to become too valuable and far too central to the success of the home and my children.

While every mother wants to be needed, you can quickly reach a point of diminishing returns. I reached that point somewhere between realizing that my children had never cleaned a bathroom and realizing that they couldn’t match their own socks. I had been doing those things for them—usually with the purist intentions of love and sacrifice—because I had plenty of time to devote to such things. In return, they had been living a life of luxury and were drastically missing age-appropriate skills.

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7 Ways to Wean your Child off Video Games

Is your kid addicted to video games? This is one of the biggest struggles of every parent. Sometimes it’s hard to say no to our kids but it’s really important to remind them that too much of anything is bad. How do we deal with our kids when it comes to this?

The appeal of today’s ubiquitous video games is based on sound value – the games are fun, the action is fast, the challenges are inviting. Yet when kids and teens spend time in front of small screens – whether it’s the TV, computer or hand-held games – it takes away from the time they could spend playing sport, learning other skills or enjoying active play.



When children constantly receive their entertainment through computer games, they develop an increasing desire for instant entertainment which decreases their attention span and hurts their listening skills. And while studies link excessive gaming with conditions like depression, anxiety and social phobia, simple common sense dictates that too much time spent playing online games is counter-productive to a child’s healthy growth and development.

The goal of a frustrated parent should not be to remove the child’s access to these activities, but to help the child find balance between time spent using these devices and time spent in independent activity, outdoor experiences in nature, and plenty of physical activity which a growing body craves.

What not to do

It is surprising that many articles which discuss strategies to reduce video-gaming time suggest “tiger-mom” measures such as removing the computer from the child’s room, installing access-limiting software, or simply pulling the plug on the computer. These methods, in my opinion, are confrontational, and send a message that the child lacks self-control. Pulling the plug will only drive your child elsewhere, perhaps to a friend’s house where controls are less strict.


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9 Important Strategies for Raising Children in a World of Technology

In this new generation it’s really hard to cope up with our kids. They are greatly influence by the new technologies or social medias. And too much use of them will somehow result into conflicts within the family.  So how do we manage our kids in a world of technology?

“We refuse to turn off our computers, turn off our phone, log off Facebook, and just sit in silence, because in those moments we might actually have to face up to who we really are.” —Jefferson Bethke

Recently, Allison Slater Tate wrote an important article in the Washington Post: Parenting as a Gen Xer: We’re the first generation of parents in the age of iEverything. 



Allison articulates and draws attention to a unique struggle facing our generation of parents. Namely, how to raise children in an age of technology.

She sums up our current challenge like this:

My generation, it seems, had the last of the truly low-tech childhoods, and now we are among the first of the truly high-tech parents…

When it comes to parenting, I find this middle place extremely uncomfortable, because I know what childhood and adolescence were like before the Internet, but all my parenting models came from that era…

Technology wins the prize for being the trickiest parenting challenge I have faced.

Parents today know the decisions we make for our kids concerning technology are important—but entirely without context.

Our conversations on the sidelines at soccer games about these issues are never based on proven experience (When I was a kid, my mom used to…). Instead, it is based on guesswork and the little wisdom we have gained (Well, this is what we have decided to do. What about you guys?).


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4 things you can do to help your child learn at the playground

Most children do not get enough physical activity these days. With schools eliminating their physical education programs and kids spending more time watching TV and playing video games, it is no wonder childhood obesity at an all-time high (and still climbing). You have to encourage them and help them get physical activities.


Parents are very much encouraged to be involved in their children’s activities, especially during play. By playing with them, you get to strengthen your relationship with them, participate in activities that they like, and encourage impromptu learning opportunities.

Even time at the playground can offer many opportunities for you to bond with your child. Playing at the playground and chasing playmates may sound meaningless. On the contrary, there is actually a lot of learning taking place.

In order to move around structures successfully, children need to develop their motor skills and spatial awareness to have strong muscles and learn to be mindful of their bodies in that space. They also practice social skills such as communication and turn-taking when playing with their friends. Parental involvement can further enhance the quality of your child’s learning at the playground.

Mrs. Wong*, a parent of three children, said that she usually uses her phone to check her emails while her children are playing at the playground. Mr. Tan*, a member of the pioneer generation, also noticed that parents are very focused on their phones at the playground and do not engage with their children.

You may think that there is a certain limit to what you can do with your children at the playground but here are four ideas that you can take with you when you head to the playground with your kids!


1. Documenting Your Children at Play

Observe your children’s play and take pictures and videos of your children as they are playing. These pictures and videos give you an opportunity to look back at those memories fondly.

Share these pictures and videos with your children and show them what they did at the playground. You can also use it to talk with them about their play experiences.


2. Reflecting with Children about their Play Experiences

Mrs. Wong* also shared that play can be about engaging children in conversations. As a parent, she listens to her children when they are talking about their play experiences. Mrs. Devi*, an early childhood educator, highlighted that parents should give sufficient time for children to


5 things you should know about premature menopause

A woman who experiences menopausal symptoms as early as 40 (or even earlier) can be said to be prematurely menopausal. On average, menopause comes when a woman hits the age of 50.


Premature menopause—defined as the permanent cessation of a woman’s menstrual period before the age of 40—can be a devastating blow. While the majority of women can expect to deal with the “change of life” around 51, about 1 percent of women between 30 and 39 will experience the menopausal transition earlier than expected.

The hardest part for many of them? The loss of fertility during their childbearing years, on top of the many uncomfortable physical and emotional symptoms of menopause—including hot flashes and mood swings.

Symptoms of premature menopause
The absence of monthly periods for more than one year—before the age of 40—signals that a woman is likely in menopause.

Hot flashes and night sweats are very common, and can lead to difficulties with sleeping.

Memory and concentration difficulties may also crop up.

Urination can also become more frequent and even uncomfortable.

These symptoms, coupled with decreased libido, can also lead to mood swings and irritability. A dramatic decrease in the female sex hormone, estrogen, is responsible for the majority of the issues  experienced during this time.

Causes of premature menopause
Women are born with the all the eggs they will every have—approximately one million. At the time of her first period, a woman has about 400,000 eggs left. By the time she is 30, 10 percent of her eggs remain. By 40, only 3 percent are left.


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Essential Information for Employing Security Guards

It is extremely understandable that you want to ensure the protection of you and your loved ones. By using a home security system, you’ll accomplish the wisest choice in ensuring the safety and peace of mind in knowing that while your eyes are closed or you are at work, your home is within watchful eye. The problem in terms of home security is, picking the best option for yourself. Regrettably, the process can be very draining if you do not have help or an expert guiding you through the process. Here are just some tips to help you through buying process.

Check on the level of Security

Selecting the most appropriate security services isn’t always easy although there are innumerable companies in the same field of operation. A web-based research may provide all the relevant details regarding guard services. These websites display extensive information on the sort of services offered by the security personnel, testimonial of the company and the clients. Nonetheless, you should conduct an intensive background check prior to hiring the services of any security company.

Consider backgrounds

Some providers will hire any guard with the requisite licensing to meet contract requirements. Search for providers that get for military and law enforcement backgrounds. The skills and experience learned from these career backgrounds make sure a guard that knows not only how to rise to the occasion when the situation dictates but additionally tells you that this individual knows just what selfless service entails. These individuals will go above and beyond in order to ensure the safety and security of your house!

Verify the credentials

Prior to hiring the security guys, make certain you confirm their credentials. This verification will involve a detailed background check of the person that you are about to hire. Even though it is time consuming, this verification is a necessary method that needs to be followed.

Look at Customer testimonials

Don’t forget, at the very least, reliable companies will supply testimonials from happy customers and referrals who you can contact Not just should you learn about the company and security guard requirements, but you should learn specifics about the operation, like the way the dispatch center works, where the center(s) are located, what’s the plan if there is some sort of power failure or disruption of service, and what’s the company’s relationship with the local authorities.

Interview the candidates

Selecting security guards must include interviewing every candidate personally to get a better idea about their skills. Even when you are routing your request through a security agency, ensure that you get the opportunity to interact with the candidates before you take the final decision.

Clarify the terms of the contract

Make sure to lay out precisely what you expect of your security guard before you agree to terms. He must know very well what his job entails and what he is responsible for and you need to make it clear what you are paying him to do.


10 Secrets of a Happy Childhood

Happy childhood is not something that is hard to provide for your kids but also if you are the kind of parents, to whom that does not come naturally, that could be the hardest thing. Examples are everywhere around us, how parents are struggling with bringing up their kids.


1. Love the child you have.

Experts agree that the number-one secret to raising a happy child is to celebrate him for who he is. When kids grow up knowing that their individual characteristics, talents, interests and opinions are valued and encouraged, they are ” grounded in an inner happiness that becomes the foundation for their whole life,” explains Mariaemma Pelullo-Willis, co-author of Discover Your Child’s Learning Style (Prima Lifestyles).

2. Turn “No, I Can’t” into “Yes, I Can!”

When your child knows you have an unwavering belief in him, he feels he can accomplish anything. “It’s the ideas in a child’s head, what he says to himself, that matter most,” says Mac Bledsoe, author of Parenting with Dignity (Alpha Books). “So it’s up to parents to orchestrate a choir of affirmation.” When Bledsoe’s son, Drew, was in junior high, his coach told the boy that he had no talent for football. “Don’t ever allow anyone that much access to your goals and dreams,” Bledsoe counseled his crestfallen son. Today Drew plays professional football for the Buffalo Bills.


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Save Time and Energy With a Baby Bottle Warmer

Life as a new parent could be a difficult and frustrating experience sometimes. You adore your baby with all your heart; however you kind of wish these were a little less care, right? If you have experienced being awakened in the early hours of the morning to have an urgent infant feeding, you already know how vital baby bottle warmers could be. It will save you time and energy using these helpful items.


A baby bottle warmer is an item that is mainly responsible for heating up a baby’s formula, milk or liquid food. It does this by letting up to two baby bottles to be placed into the device. Once in there, a heating element warms the liquid up to temperature which is safe for a baby to deal with. The device is designed where it’s going to maintain the temperature constant and not make it too hot or too cool for the baby. This optimum temperature makes it an extremely useful device for moms and dads because it is hard to keep track of a heated bottle in the microwave. The baby bottle warmer is additionally useful for heating jars and bottles and this can make it a multi-dimensional product.

Just about the most motivating information about the baby bottle warmers is that it is possible to utilize such heat providing apparatus while one is traveling. Simple warmers which use batteries or a car adapter are available to be sure that the baby will always have his food warm when he requires it. In addition, bottle warmer is quite portable. It does not undertake space in your kitchen. You can preserve it comfortably in your baby’s room. Its size helps it be the best choice for nursing mothers who want to travel. They could easily include it in their luggage.

If parents are going to bottle feed their baby pumped breastmilk every now and then or formula, baby bottle warmer is an absolute necessity. It doesn’t have many advantages but they’re very simple to use. It could seem to be costly, but you will get value for your money. It saves you time and will help with guiding from the loss of breast milk’s nutrients. It really is cleaner to use this appliance in warming baby’s food rather than to use stoves. Furthermore, lots of improvements that were made to cater the different requirements of parents out there so you will surely have one that will fit your needs.


How to Discipline Young Kids Effectively: 4 Steps Every Parent Can Take

Punishing a child is not the same as providing child discipline. Guidance and modeling your behavior with the desired behavior that you wish for your child is crucial for making a connection.


How to Discipline Young Kids Effectively: 4 Steps Every Parent Can Take

Every time Karen tells her 5-year-old son Jayden it’s time to leave a friend’s house, he explodes, throwing his toys, screaming and kicking her. “It’s gotten to the point that I don’t want to take him anywhere anymore,” she says. For Sarah, the problem is a little different. Her 3-year-old toddler has started biting other kids when she’s frustrated. “Lily’s having fewer play dates because no one wants her around, and I get it,” says Sarah. “And she’s already getting in trouble in pre-school.”

I believe that too often parents shy away from disciplining their children because it hurts them to watch their little ones become even more upset.

Disciplining young children can be challenging for parents, especially when their child’s behavior is especially inappropriate or obnoxious. There are few experiences more stressful—or more embarrassing—than having your child throw himself to the ground in the middle of a crowded store. But in the midst of all of these difficult years with your child, remember these two things: Bad behavior from children between the ages of two and six is completely normal—and as a parent, you have the ability to help your child learn how to begin to control him or herself.


What’s Your Discipline Strategy? 4 Steps to Better Young Child Behavior

Teaching your child boundaries, learning to say “no,” and coaching your child to practice good behaviors are all part of an important discipline strategy. Helping your child through each phase of his life with loving discipline is an integral part of his development, a necessary requirement to help him grow into a healthy adolescent and beyond. Having said that, it’s also important to acknowledge that it is almost never easy! I say this because I believe that too often parents shy away from disciplining their children because it hurts them to watch their little ones become even more upset. So the most important thing for you to do before you read any further is to acknowledge to yourself that discipline is not fun and rarely easy. However, without it your child will be at an enormous disadvantage throughout their school years and in their social life. Discipline teaches the most important values we as parents can impart to our children: self-control, boundaries, respect, and the ability to honor those around us.

Step One: Be “Swift and Safe.” Discipline is different for each stage of your child’s development. For the young child between the ages of two and six, the main thing to remember is to keep the discipline simple and easy to understand. Parents of teenagers can spend a lot of time lecturing them on why not getting chores done is a violation of house rules, and the teen will get it (well, maybe!), but if you attempt an ongoing discussion with your four-year-old, you’ll find you won’t have a very alert audience for too long. My rule of thumb for attempting to change a young child’s behavior is to be “swift and safe.” By swift, I mean move in quickly to correct the behavior and place your child in an environment where he or she will be safe since young children have a tendency to lash out physically when angry or disciplined.  (Note: If your young child has issues with anxiety when placed in an environment away from you, such as her  bedroom, it may be helpful to put her in an area where she can still see and/or hear you.)


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Protecting Your Children From Kitchen Hazards

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Typically, the kitchen is by far the most risky place in a house. Powerful appliances, sharp utensils, heavy pots, and also hot areas can be found in the kitchen. If your home owner or tenant fails to make correct safeguards when operating around these items, then dangers will arise.

Yet, when you can prevent several of these kinds of accidents by utilizing extra caution in the kitchen, there are several kitchen accidents that you might not be able to avoid. Several kitchen appliances use electricity and have sharp blades to help in your culinary feats. When some of these goods are faulty, chances are you’ll face serious injuries.

Due to the fact kitchens place numerous hot appliances, it is simple for a period of negligent behavior to cause an undesirable fire. There are many ways that kitchen fires may arise:

– Dry fire takes place when whenever a pan boils dry and the food which was cooking dries out and catches fire. These types of kitchen fires are certainly not typically dangerous, but they’re a big nuisance because they leave a horrible smell in the house for weeks.

– When it comes to oven fires, you need to watch what you cook in the oven due to the fact if it cooks for far too long, it could start the food on fire, causing smoke to come out of the oven.

· Grease fires are the most dangerous type of kitchen fire, and they are sparked when grease in the pot or pan gets too hot and ignites. They frequently result in an open flame, which could spread quickly and catch other items on fire.

In order to protect yourself from kitchen fires, always keep all combustibles faraway from open flames and make certain you keep track of all heated surfaces.

When kids are not taken care of once the parent or nanny is busy or doing different things, an open and accessible kitchen is a area for disaster. Adding safety gates to keep the child out of the kitchen is a good approach to ensure his/her safety. You may even set up barricades to stop the little ones from coming near the stove when you are preparing meals.

Fire isn’t the sole hazard in the kitchen. When attempting to manage the risk of items falling from cupboards and injuring children a good way to help their safety is to secure items within cabinets. In the instance of sharp knives (which are often kept in drawers) easy and good organization of the drawer is an effective protection solution..